'ber months

It's going to be September very soon - the 1st ber month of the year. To celebrate such occasion, I bought myself a very nice gift...

Okay, I admit I'm just justifying my actions. But I really think it's about time for me to buy something for myself, and so, I did! Happy me!

Opossums

I noticed that my penmanship is no longer as neat as it once was. I guess years of using the keyboard instead of pen and paper has its own drawbacks. Well, they will just have to appreciate the thought, effort and time it took me to write all these nice postcards...

Did you know that Opossums don't "play dead" - they pass out from sheer fright.
I didn't. I didn't even know there's such a thing (animal in this case) as Opossum. Well, now I do, and so will the person I'll send this postcard to. =)

my soulmate... for now

Can't seem to get over my 'soulmate'.

All I can talk about the whole day is my ardent admiration and insatiable desire for it. But knowing me, it'll take me a couple more weeks to really decide if I will indeed purchase one so soon...
Hmm... I won't even be surprised if I dream about it tonight - a very sweet (and taunting) dream it will be.

weight scare

I think I'm gaining weight, well, actually I feel fat. My pants which are quite loose before now perfectly fits while those that fits fine are now a little tight. I know it shouldn’t bother me since I really should gain a few lbs, and some of my friends don’t even agree that I’m fat. My sister just thinks that I have reached my ideal weight and therefore should simply maintain it. I guess I’m just being paranoid… But I’ll start watching what I eat, just in case.

I can’t have what I want and I can’t want what I have… so sad...

tidbits

When I told myself that I will not buy any books momentarily, I should’ve also mentioned not to buy any shoes (and a bag) in place of a book… hehehe…

Now have 7 unread books on my shelf, should finish them first before buying new ones (needs to practice self-control!)

My cousin just told me that Powerbooks is giving 20% off on all fiction books… darn! It would’ve been my heaven here on earth…

Just finished reading the Twilight Saga by Stephanie Meyer and I find it quite good. Good thing I was able to purchase all four with a discount. (Borders’ 3for2 for the first 3 books and 20% off from MPH for the Breaking Dawn)

Well, that's all for now, I guess... back to work...

I miss my College friends. I was checking my old emails and deleting the unnecessary items when I came across an email from joyce dated 24Jan2005 (a long long time ago). The email contains the pictures taken from our previous Friday's escapade (I think this was my birthday dinner)… I just miss the old days. I wish we’d all see each other soon.

again...

Why am I so daft to pretend that I can when I clearly can’t… Well, I guess I’ll have to try again…

sigh…

To: JM

This entry is dedicated to a very special lady who…
…has utmost faith in love
…wears her heart on her sleeves
…would give anything and forget everything for the love of…
…gets her heart broken so many times by so few guys

I miss you! Happy Birthday! =)

salt and pepper

It was an ordinary school day for me, cramming for exams, borrowing notes and anxiously trying to obtain copies of old exams (we get through each semester because of these!). Amidst all these mayhem in our tambayan I noticed you. By that time I already knew who you are, it just surprises me that you’re there. But then I realized that all the members hanging around are your friends, so I guess you’re there because of their invitation. I don’t actually recall if we’re formally introduced. All I can remember was that we started talking and exchanging notes and mobile numbers. And I guess everything started that day…

I find you eccentric even before we started hanging around. I thought there would be no harm if we became friends. It would be nice to be around someone who doesn’t actually look at me like I would break down any minute given the circumstances surrounding me that time. I’d say we know so little about each other that it felt comfortable to just be ourselves and laugh at silly things. It has been so refreshing to be around you that I didn’t realize I’m plunging into a trap I’ve unconsciously woven and the worst part of it all is, I let myself fall…

I remembered one sunny day you saw me walking towards my next class, entranced in my own thoughts that I hadn’t realized that you were suddenly standing under my umbrella. It was such a nice feeling to be walking beside you but it was short lived when you suddenly asked if I was going out with one of my good friends. I was so surprised that I might have sounded excessively defensive. I don’t want you to think I’m unavailable because I’m hoping for something more than just friends. But I guess I’m so out of luck because before the semester ends you saw me holding his arm. I wanted to explain that we were just both eager to see the results of our final exams that I have to hold his arm to keep him from leaving me behind but I don’t think you would’ve cared.

And so, our story remains unchanged. I, barely knowing you, you hardly knew me. We remain in touch though, occasional hi’s and hello’s. But we infrequently see each other, I think every 2 years on the average (after my leaving college). I’m sure you’ve had your share of relationships as I had mine. But I still think about you, always wondering, praying, wanting and waiting.

I know writing will just be another futile attempt to reach you and let you know these things. But nevertheless, I owe myself this, before I can let everything go I have to admit that I fell for you, fell so hard it took me years to recover. But I am recovering, moving on and letting go. I’m now giving myself a chance to love and be loved.

And as always, for you, I’m just another nice girl, a thoughtful and caring friend. Always was, and always will be…

where are the stars?

When I initially arrived here in Singapore one of the things I noticed is the evening sky without the stars. At first I thought may be it’s going to rain, hence the lack of it. But days passed and still none. I guess we’re located in an area where the clouds are too thick and always covered them.

This saddens me because I like looking at them. And I know this is going to sound peculiar but I like talking to them – I tell them when I’m happy and frustrated, when I feel proud or insignificant. I tell them the secrets I dare not share with a living soul. I always believe they’re our loved ones who are no longer with us but will always look after us (sounds like Simba and Mustafa huh?), hence, my comfort and relief in their existence.

Their absence, especially on this night, distresses me...